Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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