it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
