You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
