I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
