My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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