also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
