fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
