benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
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No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
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my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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