saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i barfeds in our rink
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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