i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
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