No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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