I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
