It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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