Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
