You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
