Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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