there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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