We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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