You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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