batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
