any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
