where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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