just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
