I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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