dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
