The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize