I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
