You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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