Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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