And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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