I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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