I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
