These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
