i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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