I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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