He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
