I'm jealous of your bromance
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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