i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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