Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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