We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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