NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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