yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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