Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
