I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
