im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Its about making memories worth repressing
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
