wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
