What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
