she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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