Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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