Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we're so committed to being not committed
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
