If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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