I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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