Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
