She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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