i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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