thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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