I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
