i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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