If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
please come you make the beer taste better
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize